Originally Posted on Her Campus
Woah, February. Valentines Day, just another day if you’re single like me. What better time than to get a #Whitterview with my love guru and dating advice expert friend, Alyssa Rose.
After her advice that she has given me, chances are I’ll never ask anyone else for advice ever again except for her.
Who is Alyssa? Tell me about your background.
AR: I'm from Long Island, New York. I have one sister who is 4 years older and 400 times cooler than me. My parents are the most encouraging, loving, supportive parents on Earth. It's like having two Jack Pearsons for a mom and dad. My mom has her own business as an interior designer and is insanely talented. I still don't know how to match my clothes, but she can make any house look like a museum. My dad is the radio play by play announcer for the Mets and previously worked for the Rangers and Islanders, as well.
What was it like giving dating advice for your Barstool segment?
AR: Scoring Position and Swipe Drunk Love were a ton of fun. It's ironic that I give people dating advice because I am quite literally the most single person in the entire world and have been for a long time, but when you live in New York City, dating is just completely impossible. I'm also totally to blame for that - I can't stay interested in someone for more that 3 weeks (I really need to work on that). Barstool was amazing, though. The guys there are so funny, so sweet, so much fun, and all around just really supportive. Swipe Drunk Love was amazing because we actually helped people. Scoring Position did, too. There was one person, in particular, who was really struggling with feeling unlovable and depressed and would DM us for personal advice all the time. He was in a really bad place at one point and actually messaged us saying that all of our help stopped him from making a fatal decision. That was pretty incredible.
What do you do for work now?
AR: I do a couple of things. My primary job is with a huge up-and-coming business intelligence software company. Bet you didn't know I was a tech nerd! I'm focusing on building out their sales team and working on career growth plans for the sales team as well. Yes, believe it or not, people trust me with their careers. That might actually be crazier than the fact that they trust me with their love lives. The other thing I do is write for The 7 Line, a Mets blog. The Mets are my first love, so when Darren and Brian reached out to me and asked me to write for them I kind of freaked out a little. I get accused of setting feminism back every time I talk about how hot a player is, but I'm a firm believer in the fact that you can be a hard core female sports fan and still have eyes!
If you could marry one athlete who would you choose and why?
AR: George Springer on the Houston Astros. World Series MVP. Sexy as hell. My age. And he really does seem like he has an awesome personality.
Now that you got to learn a little bit about Alyssa, it’s time for her to answer the burning questions you submitted. You wanted dating advice, you got it!
HELP! Why can’t I get a boyfriend? Why!
AR: Girllllll I ask myself this all the time, but the real answer to this question is that you totally can. People ask me all the time why I'm single, and my initial gut is always that it's because of me, but it's not. Guys ask me out all the time, and I'm sure they ask you out all the time, too - just not the kind of guys you're interested in. And that's okay. Take your time. Don't settle for anything less than absolutely perfect. The person you marry can determine your happiness for the rest of your life. And break ups really fucking hurt a lot of the time. You'll have a boyfriend as soon as you find someone who makes you feel the fireworks. Take your time finding that.
If I know that a guy is actively on Bumble and he has a girlfriend, what should I do?
AR: Call him out on it. Tell him what a piece of shit he is. Tell any girl you know who plans on dating him. But DO NOT tell his girlfriend. I stay the hellll out of other people's relationships. It can only come back to bite you. Unless the girl is your best friend, then you kind of have to.
Valentines Day is approaching, what’s the bests way to spend it single?
AR: By going out with your single girlfriends. Valentine's Day is about love. I love my friends like crazy - we should totally celebrate that.
Do you think there’s any truth to people saying if a guy likes you, he will respond. Not all the time, but he won’t always leave you on read and he will flirt with you. // Am I wasting my time and putting thoughts into my own head that he likes me?
AR: There's only one true indicator of how a guy feels about you: wanting to spend time with you. If a guy likes you, no matter how busy he is or how much he has going on, he will find a way to see you. To quote my mother, "If a guy doesn't like you, you can be swinging naked from his chandelier, and he still won't be interested." Which actually brings me to another really important point - especially for girls in college. If a guy doesn't like you or isn't interested, having sex with him won't change that. SO many girls between like 16 and 25 (myself at the time, included) think that having sex with them will make them realize how much they like you. That is SO not the case. Guys are guys. If you have a pulse and let them know you're interested, they'll sleep with you. They'll also ignore you after and only reach out to you again when it's late at night and they're about to leave the bar alone. And you'll sit there for days and kick yourself, wondering if you weren't good enough, or pretty enough, or if you looked fat naked. You'll hate yourself for sleeping with them and you'll absolutely wreck your self confidence and self-esteem - which will only make you go out and sleep with more guys for validation that people can find you desirable. It's a HORRIBLE cycle that is so hard to break and leads to so much sadness and in a lot of cases, unhealthy behaviors. If a guy doesn't like you, it's his loss. Be sad about it for a few days and move on because chances are, he didn't deserve you, anyway. You are enough without him. Always remember that... you are enough.
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