Happy Monday! I'm excited for you to get to know Tovah Marx this week. I've been following her for a while, and wheewwww is she an inspiration especially to girls in today's society. Those who struggle with depression and anxiety, like me as well. I've always struggled with anxiety, but Tovah is such an uplifting soul and is so open with her struggles, I'm not afraid to admit my anxiety that I struggle with. If she can, I can too.
So who is Tovah? Well you're about to get to know her. You may have seen her on The Real World: Atlanta that recently moved from MTV to Facebook Watch.
Speaking of this season of The Real World... I got to the third round of casting for this season and I didn't even apply, somehow I just got a random email I had made it to the third round, now knowing that Tovah was on it, I wish I would have tried and not deleted the email because I would have loved to have gotten the chance to know her in real life.
This interview brought me to tears a few times, Tovah has been one of the most humble, sweet, and magical interviews I've ever done. Where do I sign up to become her bff?
Anyway, enough rambling. Let's get to know Tovah!
Tell me about you:
TM: My name is Tovah Marx, I’m 27, from San Diego, California. I grew up as an only child, and an Aquarius so I am very independent and move to the beat of my own drum. I don’t get embarrassed easily and could care less about what the latest trends are. I am obsessed with making people laugh and am either dancing in public or cracking jokes with strangers. My favorite quote is “Dance like EVERYONE is watching, sing like EVERYONE is listening, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” Before Real World, I worked for Child Protective Services. When I was in middle school I volunteered at a group home, and ever since that day I have always wanted to work with children in the foster care system. I went to The University of Arizona in Tucson and graduated with a bachelors in Psychology and a minor in Family Studies Human development. After graduation I moved to Scottsdale Arizona with some friends and have been here ever since!
Growing up did you ever think you would be on reality TV?
TM: I don’t enjoy scripted shows unless it’s Handmaid’s Tale, Orange is the New Black,
or of course Grey’s Anatomy, because come on those shows are amazing.
I only watch reality TV and grew up watching Real World and anything I could sneak on MTV,
when my parents weren’t looking. I always thought it would be a cool experience to go on reality TV.
Did I ever think I would be on it? No.
Did I hope one day to show the world my jokes and dance moves? Yes.
or of course Grey’s Anatomy, because come on those shows are amazing.
I only watch reality TV and grew up watching Real World and anything I could sneak on MTV,
when my parents weren’t looking. I always thought it would be a cool experience to go on reality TV.
Did I ever think I would be on it? No.
Did I hope one day to show the world my jokes and dance moves? Yes.
Tell me about your time on the Real World- would you do it again?
TM: Nothing can
prepare you for being on a show like Real World.
You watch
these people on TV and they do such a good job of making it seem like there are
no cameras
around. When they are crying and being vulnerable, hashing out arguments from
the night before, or just being goofy and letting loose, you forget they are
surrounded by a million cameras and have microphones on them. I went into that
house expecting to get drunk and have fun for a few months, make lifelong
friends, and have a great story to tell. I did make a couple lifelong friends
and we had a lot of laughs, but boy the tears and growth we all experienced in
that house was not something I expected. Imagine living in a house with 6 of
your closest friends. Being constantly surrounded by cameras, no doors, no
privacy, no alone time for two and a half months. That would be challenging
right? The 7 of you always making joint decisions on where to eat, where to
party, when to shut off the lights, how late people should be allowed to
drunkenly scream in the house, who is going to take out the trash, who is going
to unload the dishwasher (this was always a fight), when to take turns
showering and using the washer and dryer, did I mention no alone time. Now
imagine those 6 people are complete strangers. 6 people who you have no idea
what triggers them, how they communicate, what they need to calm down in an
argument, if they should have their alcohol monitored, if they get offended
easily, if they hate confrontation, and so on. We not only had to learn how to
live with each other, but how not to accidentally piss each other off in the
process. The casting directors did an impeccable job at finding 7 people from
completely different backgrounds. We clashed on almost everything, but this in
turn made us really look at ourselves and grow from the experience. I have a
very hard time telling people about my feelings, I keep them bottled up at all
times. In the house Meagan and Yasmine got me to begin telling people when I
need a shoulder to cry on, and that it is ok to ask someone to help when you
are feeling sad. I learned I never truly worked through my sexual assault, and
sought out a therapist while filming. I learned to forgive people and break
down the walls I had built up over the years. I would 1000000% do it again. I
am a completely different person than I was before that house, I changed for
the better.
If you had the chance to go on any other reality show which
would it be?
TM: I
would 100% do the challenge. I am honestly up for whatever comes my way. I
decided to start saying yes to everything!
You're very open about anxiety and depression, which is
incredible and I applaud you so much. What are some easy tips to cope with
anxiety that creeps up on you from nowhere? As well as depression, how do you
deal with it as sometimes it hits you suddenly?
TM:
Thank you, that means a lot. This was the main reason I wanted to go on Real
World. When people look at me they never expect me to have the crippling
anxiety and depression that sneaks up on me sometimes. I wanted to show people
if I could get through what I have been through and still come out smiling, so
can you. Easy tips for coping… My number one tip is to feel the feelings. Feel
the sadness, the anxiety, cry it out if you need to. The worst thing you can do
is push your feelings away, they will come back tenfold. I read a book one time
that told me to write down what is making you sad or anxious, if you can
identify what it is. When we have racing thoughts we tend to think of the same
thing in our head over and over again. Because of this it seems as though the
problem is way bigger than it is. By writing down what is bothering you, you
can see it as a tangible and manageable problem. You are able to see it is not
some big monster you can’t conquer, and is usually just one problem you have
tricked yourself into thinking is bigger than it is. And lastly KNOW YOU ARE
NOT ALONE. There is a reason there are so many books, podcasts, YouTube videos,
articles, etc. on this topic. Millions of people are suffering from this as
well, you are not alone. When I finally realized I wasn’t crazy for getting sad
or anxious for no reason at times, it took the pressure off when the situation
would arise. To this day, sometimes I wake up anxious or depressed, and instead
of getting upset with myself I say “Alright Tovah today is an anxious/sad day.
It might not last the whole day but it is what we are working with right now
and that is OKAY.” I have also gotten so much better at communicating these
feelings with friends and family. Calling them and saying I am having a
depressed day, 9 times out of 10 your friends will know exactly what to say.
What's one of your favorite quotes that you like to live by?
TM:
Dance like EVERYONE is watching, sing like EVERYONE is listening, because those
who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. There is only one you in
this world. I learned a long time ago I was always happier when I was being
myself. I love making weird noises, doing even weirder dances in public, and
being silly even if that means some people think I’m weird. At first I was
afraid no one would accept me, they would think I’m weird. What I have found is
a whole squad of people who celebrate who I am, and love my personality. You
will find your tribe, and they will love you for who you really are.
If anyone follows you on social media, they know you're a
McDonald's fanatic, what's your go to order?
TM: I
have always loved McDonald’s and talk about it constantly, I never realized how
much until people started pointing it out.
I
order: one hot n’ spicy, one large fry, one sausage egg mcmuffin (unless it is
2 for $4, then obviously I’m getting 2), and one large sugar free french
vanilla iced coffee!
MCDONALDS
SPONSOR HER OK?!
Who is your celebrity crush?
TM: I
don’t think I have one at the moment! I learned through this whole Real World
experience you never know who people truly are by social media. So for now I am
focusing on myself and not looking in the direction of any guys.
What’s a fun fact some people might not know about you?
TM: I
am obsessed with the movie DreamGirls and recite the seven person
monologue/song perfectly.
And finally, who are three people you want to have dinner with
and why?
TM:
- My
cousin who passed away, I miss him and could really use some life advice
at the moment.
- Jennifer
Aniston. I feel like she is such a strong and beautiful human being that I
could learn a lot from.
- Robin
Willimas. I wish someone could have figured out why such a light on this
earth would leave us the way he did.
Instagram
and Twitter: @tovahmarx
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